Like the swift, clean pull that starts a lawnmower on the first try, a handjob is a transformative experience that awakens people to new possibilities. A handjob should always aspire to transcendence as it experiments with form, structure and style.

We believe truly exceptional handjobs come from almost anywhere, from anyone, at any time. We welcome work from new, emerging and established handjobbers and are always on the lookout for handjobs that go beyond strong eye contact. We want handjobs that break down cultural barriers to expose a larger truth about the art of handjobbing. Having said that, there is no specific type of handjob we prefer. As always, the best way to know what we like is to observe our handjobs.

Length:

There is no hard, fast rule for the amount of time it takes to give a handjob. Really, the length of the handjob is up to you, mostly.

Simultaneous Submissions:

It’s hard out there for a handjobber, handjobbing your way through life. We understand you may want to give handjobs to other people. If someone else responds to your handjob before we do, it’s our loss. If that happens, we only ask you to immediately contact us and withdraw your handjob from consideration.

Also, one handjob at a time, please! Once you’ve received a response, please wait 10-15 minutes before submitting another.

Response Time:

We try to respond to all handjobs within three weeks. Each handjob is treated with proper attention, so sometimes it takes longer. Be patient. We receive hundreds of handjobs each week. At the end of the day, we’re just one guy, in a starkly lit room with a luxurious bear skin rug laid out in the front of the fire place, poised in a leather recliner, getting handjobs.

If you haven’t heard from us in six months, feel free to send us a note about your handjob.

A Few Reasons Your Handjob Submission Might Be Rejected:

· Using the words “tug” or “yank” in any way to refer to your handjob.

· Your lubrication causes a rash.

· Smacking or slapping of any kind.

· Sandpaper.

Payment:

It’s not that kind of rodeo.